As many of us are guilty of making mountains out of mole hills in our marriages, we need a perspective jolt for our marriages and visiting a widow or widower who no longer has their spouse often provides that jolt. External stress might need a place of release, and when that release isn't found, it can force its way out through the words you speak to your partner. Its not actually effective in getting your partner to change their ways. It does not store any personal data. Then he gives some pretty blatant advice to married couples lose sight of the gratefulness all Christians should have in the joy of Christian marriage and instead try to nitpick their spouse with an ungrateful heart. He says: Go visit widows and widowers in your church and ask them about their spouse. In marital therapy, I always request that each partner attends at least one individual session. Nitpicking. Its possible that every little thing just irritates them because theyre experiencing heightened anxiety. They do need to set ground rules to make sure they are both on the same page. 3. Why are the Infinity Stones different colors? deal Poor Sex Life. Love your spouse in spite of his/her imperfections. The most common reason is due to unresolved anger and other emotions. His boss has even called him out on how he treats people. It is a great feeling which, sadly, never lasts for too long. The eBay path to take will be to say goodbye. Put in kind words, and you'll have a more receptive partner and a happier marriage. Many such partners sleep in separate beds, even relatively young couples. Be Nice, Dont Nitpick that Dr Susan Boon, a social psychologist said about nitpicking. A happy marriage is based on deep friendship, knowing each other well, showing mutual respect, knowing when it makes sense to try to work out an issue, when it is not solvable. Many kinds of issues simply arent solvable. To deal with nitpicking, compliment the nitpicker when they are complaining. It will only make things worse to become defensive and cut your spouse off prematurely. Many partners who nitpick often don't like to be criticized themselves. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. If someone suffers from anxiety, nitpicking may be a symptom of stress. WebHow do you deal with a nitpicky spouse? But knowing that doesnt always help you instantly change your approach to the situation. to Cope with a Critical Spouse Seeing the things you dislike in your partner as their flaws cause you to make hurtful remarks. Pause and comprehend what youre about to say. It would help if you made a mental note to be nice and objective when criticizing your partner. As one client remarked, Its a couples-oriented society and I hate feeling like a third wheel., Many people believe that the importance of physical attraction is overrated. Youre also saying that you want the other person to change and that they arent good enough. Then follow this up with, Dont worry about it. Nitpicking In A Relationship (31 Tips To Stop Nitpicking) Be observant. A compliment can be far more helpful. The lack of attraction in a primary relationship often leaves an opening for a third party to enter. Take this quick quiz and get matched with a real relationshp coach that can help you work through those problems! However, one of the most common causes in long-term relationships is that a person often becomes nitpicky, making a big deal out of nothing, and finding fault with everything that their partners do because they're stressed. Our differences make it hard for me to trust her decision-making, which I know makes her feel infantilized., As a person on the receiving end of this constant oversight, I can tell you the drip drip drip of disapproval is eroding your wifes affection for you. Advice | Carolyn Hax: Dealing with a nitpicking other half Consistent complaining or correction of your partner's actions can lead them to believe that they cannot do anything right. Can I stop working part-time? Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. You might need external help before your family tears apart in these instances. If you're constantly nitpicking someone you love, you'll need a major focus shift if you want to quit and save your marriage. Some of these marriages were never consummated. One of the major keys to a nitpicky person is finding even the tiniest of faults. Yes, yes, what about the other spouse? Affairs. Its important that we dont eventually come to the point of thinking, Hows that working for us? Its then that its important to stop the insanity of thinking that nagging over and over again about the same issues will work. When a partner feels trapped in an unhappy relationship, they tend to consistently find things wrong with their partner: The way they smell, the way they How Nitpicking Your Spouse Can Damage Your Marriage