How Viagra became a new 'tool' for young men, Ankylosing Spondylitis Pain: Fact or Fiction, The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, https://www.thehotline.org/2015/05/06/abuse-and-mental-illness-is-there-a-connection/, https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/the-silent-treatment-an-abuser-s-controlling-tactic, https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/other-types/emotional-and-verbal-abuse, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5791900/, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3876290/, https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0028029, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3218801/, https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03637751.2013.813632, https://www.thehotline.org/2014/08/01/why-we-dont-recommend-couples-counseling-for-abusive-relationships/, A safer blood thinner? Ancient Greeks expelled for 10 years citizens who were thought to be a threat to democracy, and early American settlers banished people accused of practicing witchcraft. Whether someone is giving you the silent treatment or you keep finding yourself doing it to others, the truth is, it's almost never a healthy communication pattern. The only thing worse than a bull in a china shop is two bulls in the same china shop. "Explain what you're upset by, if you can, and ask if they can make a commitment to be able to talk through things," he says. If you get in their face or try to challenge them in any way, youre only going to make the situation much worse. "Extreme silent treatment is unequivocally a form of abuse," he says, noting that even subtler forms can still be harmful to the relationship. 2009-2023 Power of Positivity. Your spouse may be dealing with issues like anxiety, depression, or another underlying mental health concern. How to Confront Someone Who's Giving You the Silent Treatment - WikiHow It's coming from a place of punishment, not a need to cool off or regroup. Your California Privacy Rights / Privacy Policy. Every new method of connection can be used as a form of disconnection, Williams said. Many people often withhold affection and use silent treatment to punish the other party. She endured four decades of silence that started with a minor disagreement and only ended when her husband died, Williams said. And for what it's worth, Page adds, couples who have a "low threshold for allowing conflict" (aka they would rather talk things out than let things fester) are actually happier in their relationships than couples with a higher threshold for conflict (aka they "let things go" and ignore problems). Use empathy and feel and see the situation through their eyes. If things get heated, every attempt to communicate or make headway regarding the issue continues to fall flat. This, too, is suffering. To voice the pain of being ignored is a constructive way of expressing ones feelings, and may elicit a change if the relationship is truly founded on care, Margaret Clark, a psychology professor at Yale, told me in an email. The fear and doubt that silent treatment abuse causes make people at the receiving end do whatever they must to prevent it from happening again. Mental Health TikTok:It's powerful. Healthline explains: It's a frequent occurrence and is lasting for longer periods. Silent treatment could dissipate tension. Apart from self-doubt, thoughts of not being good enough in the relationship, for other people. This article has given me the self-belief that I havent done anything wrong and I have got to let the person go. But this new research has identified at least some situations when silence might be golden: When people are strongly motivated to avoid social interaction with an undesirable person, giving the. One study found that social rejection provoked a response in its victims similar to that of victims of physical abuse; the anterior cingulate cortex area of the brainthe area thought to interpret emotion and painwas active in both instances. Understanding this necessitates that we explore the psychology of the silent treatment, and is as follows: One of the reasons why silent treatment abuse is a major problem is because its effect can be felt outside of the relationship. If someone is using the silent treatment on you, Wright said, it's important to find ways to emotionally regulate yourself. Once you figure this out, you should immediately voice out your concerns. ike they do not have your interests at heart, they are selfish, and the relationship is one-sided. But freezing someone out harms both the victim and the perpetrator. If your partner constantly threatens you to go silent or disconnect, they have weaponized the silent treatment, and thats emotional abuse 101. According to Narcissist Abuse Report, parents often use this tactic with their children when they are trying to gain control of a situation and cannot handle it. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. How to Deal with the Silent Treatment - One Love Foundation Because we humans require social contact for our mental health, the ramifications of isolation can be severeIn the short term, the silent treatment causes stress.