One of the main signs of golden child syndrome is the overwhelming need to please parents and/or other authority figures. The identified patient or addict: Those who identify mostly with the addict family role, may find themselves continuing to relapse if previous issues haven't been resolved, or wanting to use in times of distress, especially if they are in an unhealthy romantic relationship that feels triggering. The golden child is usually the offspring of one or two narcissistic parents, Hafeez says. The alcoholism creates a black hole that sucks the life and love away from the family . 2023 Psych Central, a Healthline Media Company. Golden Child Syndrome: 6 Characteristics of a Golden Child If youre experiencing anxiety, these 15 essential oils may help ease your symptoms. While it can negatively impact mental health, it is not considered a mental illness in and of itself. In dysfunctional families, child roles are artificial (for instance, the golden child or scapegoat child) and are meant to serve the needs of the parent. 45+ Baseball Mom Quotes for the MVP Behind the Scenes. This creates an unhealthy competitive attitude even after growing upa sign of the oldest child syndrome. There may be a sense of emptiness. If you were raised feeling unloved or unimportant, you may continue to feel that way well into adulthood. "Learning to say no is a skill that can be built." Narcissistic parents may have trouble forming authentic relationships, which can impact the golden childs ability to form authentic relationships in the future. (2020). Or another when they withdraw and become aloof when faced with criticism. The identified patient, in therapy, becomes the family's new focus. Another negative effect of this syndrome is growing up with low self-esteem. "This means a desire to not engage in 'unproductive' tasks (or tasks that may be seen as 'childish') because those behaviors will not warrant praise," Peifer says. Psychologists and behavioral scientists have studied its short-term and long-term effects. Essentially, the scapegoat role is to be the antithesis of the golden child. More people-pleasing or perfectionism calms shame for seconds, only leading to more shame when the outcome is seen as not good enough, which then leads to more perfectionism and people-pleasing. Narcissistic parents may put even more pressure on the golden child to succeed in maintaining their sense of superiority and bragging rights. It is important to practice self-compassion to counteract the pressure to be perfect and the fear of failure often accompanying golden child syndrome. . Those in this role often experience difficulty connecting with others on a genuine level and may self-sabotage. If you think you may have been raised as the golden child in your family, Smith insists that all hope is not lost, especially if you recognize the signs and do the work to overcome golden child syndrome. Stephanie Barnes is a freelance writer from Kingston, Jamaica. If you have grown up as a "lost child," its important to know that you did nothing to deserve being placed in that position. "It is this psychological aspect of their personality disorder that has one of the largest and most damaging impacts on their children. A golden child's perfectionism and obsessive tendencies include an inability to appreciate the efforts of others. The difficult child, or more independent child, might be easily identifiable as a scapegoat. She was herself diagnosed with ASD in her forties. Golden children may struggle with forming authentic relationships, as they may be used to people admiring and praising them rather than getting to know them for who they truly are. A blessing and a curse all rolled into one. Characteristics Of The Golden Child Syndrome Things can get way overcomplicated. They might also have a personality disorder, such as narcissistic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder, which leads them to idealize and devalue others or engage in black-and-white thinking . A golden child is often viewed as perfect, praised excessively, and given preferential treatment, while their siblings are ignored or criticized. | A new study examines the art and science of a famous practice. Because those with NPD have an incredibly unstable view of themselves, their relationship with the golden child can often be volatile with the transfer of parent to child love on a conditional (versus unconditional) level. A narcissist's "lost child" may be physically and emotionally neglected. Because of how strict their parents are, these children are unlikely to feel safe enough to voice their own opinions or go against the rules of the home. Additionally, golden children might have a hard time focusing on other people's needs since they were taught to always zero-in on their own. Golden Child Syndrome is a real phenomenon that can negatively affect a childs mental health and relationships. . The Golden Child. Golden children also frequently overwork and try to be better than others in career settings. They may feel immense pressure to step in when situations become tense and volatile. Often, their "need to please" extends into their adult years. "Siblings may not actually have anything against their golden child sibling, but because of how that child is treated within the family unit, animosity can develop because they are pitted against one another and being told they are 'less than' or insufficient in some way," adds Smith. Here are some of the effects of being a golden child: Golden children often receive a lot of praise and positive reinforcement from their parents, which can lead to a strong sense of self-worth and confidence.